How Do You Define Success?
How do you define success? At this very moment, considering your work and career, would you call yourself successful? Whether you answered yes or no, what were the measurements that you used? What’s on your checklist for how successful you do or don’t deem yourself to be?
Many of us are striving for success and yet we don’t really know what that looks like for us. So we look around, at our friends, our peers, even strangers on the Internet, and as we absorb the cultural narrative into our consciousness, we get to work. Driving, striving, pushing, hustling, always trying to get to the next goal post. Climbing a ladder when we don’t even know if it’s against the right wall. Running our businesses and careers like crazy women when we’re not even sure if the work is still on purpose.
What are you driving for?
Pause for a moment.
Grab a sheet of paper. A quarter of the way down the page, draw a horizontal line. Below that line, write a list of all the things that really matter to you in this life, as many as you can think of. Family, friends, money, abundance, health, wellbeing, happiness, creativity, freedom, spirituality, spaciousness, activism, culture, art, children, relationships, business, philanthropy, community, legacy. Get it all down.
Now choose three to five things that are the absolutely most important things in your work and life. Really feel into it. These are the things that matter more than anything else on the list.
Write those selected few things above the line.
This is what success looks like for you. These are the things that matter. These are your yes items. These are your core values. When you find yourself driving and striving for success, check yourself: Does this even matter to you? Does it relate to something on your above the line list?
If yes, go. If not, stop and reconsider whether what you are doing matters.
We need to be intentional about how we define our success because it drives our decisions and our actions. Every day we trade our time and energy for something. Make sure it’s not your integrity, your dreams, or what matters most to you that you are trading away for a version of success that isn’t even your own.
About the author: Megan Dalla-Camina is an author, PhD researcher, Founder and CEO of the Women Rising Program and Male Allies Program. A globally recognised leadership expert, coach & mentor, she supports women and male allies to lead with confidence, clarity, and purpose in complex modern workplaces.
Read the full bio.
Frequently Asked Questions
+ How do I define success in a way that actually feels meaningful?
True success begins with alignment, not achievement. Take a moment to pause and ask: What really matters most to me? Write down your core values—your family, creativity, freedom, wellbeing, purpose, and use these as your compass. When your goals match your values, success becomes fulfilling instead of exhausting.
+ Why does redefining success matter for women today?
Many women are chasing someone else’s version of success, climbing ladders that don’t feel right or striving for goals that don’t bring joy. Redefining success allows you to trade comparison for clarity. When you measure success by how much peace, purpose, and authenticity you feel, everything shifts, from your confidence to your career direction.
+ How can I tell if my current goals align with my values?
Grab a notebook and draw a line across the page. Below the line, list everything that matters to you—family, health, creativity, freedom, purpose. Then, choose your top three to five priorities and write them above the line. Now ask: Does what I’m working toward fit above or below that line? If it’s not aligned, it may be time to course-correct.
+ What are some signs that I’m chasing the wrong version of success?
If you feel constantly busy but unfulfilled, if you’re achieving goals that look good but don’t feel good, or if you’re driven by external approval instead of internal satisfaction, you may be chasing someone else’s dream. True success feels spacious, energising, and true to who you are, not draining or disconnected.
+ How can I create a definition of success that supports both career and wellbeing?
Success isn’t about having it all—it’s about having what matters most. Define success by the quality of your days, not the quantity of your achievements. Create space for your wellbeing, relationships, creativity, and purpose alongside your career goals. When success and self-care coexist, both your life and work thrive.
